What is Trauma? (And How EMDR Therapy Helps You Heal)

Trauma Therapy and the Farm:
A Metaphor

It’s spring time in Colorado. And here on the farm, that means it’s weed-burning season.
Annual maintenance in order to keep the farm thriving at its best.
(And what kind of therapist would I be if I didn’t pull a metaphor out of it?!)

How Water Reaches the Land (And Why It Matters)

In our dry climate, water is as good as gold. And we need every ounce of it that we can get in order to water our crops.

Thee snow falls from the sky and lands on the Rocky Mountains. 

That snow melts into water ways and rivers that flow down to the eastern plains.

Those rivers and streams are controlled by water distribution companies.

We pay those distribution companies in order to get our fair share of the water.

They control when our head gate is turned on or off; titrating the amount of water that branches off to our farm.

The ditch between that main head gate and the farm is our responsibility to maintain.
If we want the water, we have to make sure it makes the last leg of its arduous journey; from Longs Peak all the way to our soil and seeds and plants and livelihood.

And if there’s one culprit standing between us and that precious water, it’s weeds.

What Blocks the Flow: Weeds

Overgrowth.

Obstruction.

Clogging. 

Constriction.

Blockage.

Weeds.

The opposition to outpouring.

The rival to rushing water. 

The adversary of flow.

When the weeds are winning, the water might arrive to us in a dribble.

When the weeds are winning, the dirt is dry and dusty.

When the weeds are winning, attempts at new life wither, strangle, crack, die.

But when the weeds are moderated, the water gushes to the best of its ability.

When the weeds are moderated, the soil is rich and robust. 

When the weeds are moderated, new plant life thrives, flourishes, and bears fruit.

Trauma Works the Same Way

How Trauma Blocks the Flow of Life

Sometimes an event occurs in our lives that changes everything. There’s before and after that day. It’s our new benchmark. The experience is so painful that it overwhelms our ability to cope. It’s like a pile of weeds and debris that begins to interrupt the natural flow of resources. 

Trauma can disrupt the natural flow of your nervous system, leaving you feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or disconnected from yourself.

We feel blocked.

Stuck.

Like we can’t get past it.

We keep reliving the event. 

It’s lodged in our psyche.

It’s all we can think about.

We may very well show up to our jobs and smile in pictures.

But as the trauma and the weeds impede the flow of life and vitality, the soil cracks, the plants suffer, and life begins to gray.

Other times, trauma isn’t one overwhelming event.

Sometimes, it’s the slow accumulation.

Small moments.
Repeated patterns.
Subtle messages absorbed over time.

Be agreeable.
Don’t be too much.
Keep the peace.
Take care of others.
Don’t need too much.

And slowly, quietly, almost imperceptibly—
the weeds grow.

When the Weeds Become the Landscape

At a certain point, we stop noticing the weeds altogether.

They become the landscape.

We might say:

• “It’s just who I am”

• “I have anxiety”

• “I’m an over-thinker”

• “I’m a people-pleaser”

• “I’m just being sensitive”

We adapt.

We learn how to function around the obstruction.
We compensate for the lack of flow.
We work harder. Try harder. Be better.

All while something essential is being restricted.

The water is still there.
The capacity for life, connection, ease—it hasn’t gone anywhere.

But it’s not reaching you the way it was meant to.

Why Burning Is Necessary

On the farm, we could try to pull every weed by hand. Put on our boots, wade through the muddy muck of the river bed;
spending hours, days, weeks trying to manage the overgrowth piece-by-piece.

But very quickly, it becomes inefficient.
With over a mile of ditch to maintain, it’s unsustainable.

And so, instead, we do what’s called a controlled burn.

Not recklessly.
Not destructively.

But intentionally.
Carefully.
With guidance and containment.

From the outside, it can look intense.

Flames.
Smoke.
Blackened earth.

It doesn’t look like healing.

Why Trauma Therapy Can Feel Scary

This is often how trauma therapy feels at first.

Especially therapies like EMDR.

You might wonder:

• What if it’s too much?

• What if I fall apart?

• What if I can’t handle what comes up?

These are valid questions.

Because part of you knows:
something is about to shift.

Something that has been carefully managed, avoided, or contained
is being invited into the light.

What EMDR Therapy Actually Does

EMDR therapy is not meant to overwhelm you. It’s not about forcing you to relive everything all at once.
We go slow and steady. One section at a time. One memory at a time.

EMDR helps your brain do something it was never able to fully do before:

Make sense of the experience and release the blockage.

Using bilateral stimulation (like eye movements), EMDR allows your nervous system to:

• digest overwhelming experiences

• loosen the grip of old memories

• update beliefs about yourself

• restore a sense of safety in your body

It’s less like “burning everything down”
and more like clearing what’s in the way of natural flow.

The Aftermath of the Burn

After we burn the weeds on the farm, everything looks… worse.

At least at first.

Black.
Charred.
Barren.

If you don’t know better, you might assume we had destroyed something. The fire had gotten away from us. A terrible accident had occurred. 

But beneath the surface, something else was happening.

Nutrients returning to the soil.
Space opening up.
Light reaching places it couldn’t before.

And Then, Without Fail…

The green comes back.

Not eventually.
Not maybe.

Every single time.

Reliably, tender shoots push through dark soil.
Stronger growth.
Healthier patterns.
More space.
More flow.

Every time.

Without fail.

This Is What Healing Looks Like

This is what I witness in EMDR therapy again and again.

Women who once felt:

• stuck in people pleasing

• overwhelmed by anxiety

• disconnected from themselves
  
  

begin to experience:

• clarity about what they need

• the ability to set boundaries without overwhelming guilt

• a steadier, calmer nervous system

• a deeper sense of self-trust
  
  

Not because they forced themselves to change overnight,
but because they opened themselves up to the process of slowly and steadily clearing the obstruction that no longer served them.

Healing Requires Maintenance, Too

On the farm, burning isn’t a one-time fix.

It’s part of an ongoing relationship with our land.

The same is true for healing.

Therapy helps clear the overgrowth.
But we also learn how to maintain the flow:

• noticing when old patterns return

• tending to your nervous system

• choosing environments and relationships that support your well-being

Not perfectly.
But intentionally.

If You’re Feeling Stuck, There’s a Reason

If you feel blocked, overwhelmed, or disconnected from yourself—

There’s nothing wrong with you.

There may just be something in the way of your ideal flow. And EMDR can help clear the way.

EMDR Therapy for Women in Colorado

If you’re a woman navigating:

• trauma or overwhelming past experiences

• people pleasing and difficulty setting boundaries

• anxiety, overthinking, or burnout

EMDR therapy can help you move beyond coping
and into real, lasting change.

I offer private pay EMDR therapy for women across Colorado, with sessions designed to support deep healing in a thoughtful, grounded way.

Give me a call if you’ve got questions about EMDR therapy.

Final Thought

We don’t burn because the area is hopeless.

We burn because we know what it is capable of becoming.

The same is true for you.